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Hello, all!
I’ve just finished a story which is not so much a fanfic, but more of a tribute to Sierra and what it means to all of us. It’s a little short on plot, but I admit I was more concerneed about the ambience than the story itself. It needs a rewrite, but I’ll probably only get around to that in a long time, so I decided to post it now.
HOWEVER – Ken – you may for some reason find this objectionable. It was created in a spirit of parody, but if you do not feel it belongs here, please feel free to delete it and just drop me a quick note. If you choose to do so, I will, of course, not post it elsewhere either.
So here it is – tell me what you guys think!
Sciefyr
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(re: An Evening at the Nightclub SIERRA) Hey, I read your story! (Believe it or not, I usually don’t read that often.)
I really like it, it’s very interesting to read, and you have understandable grammar. I liked the range of vocab you put into your text and the nice atmosphere you had in the story … Some very unique ideas there.
I’m not sure if you need a rewrite at all … but more detail needs to be put into play. Really, all you need to do is add more detail about the surroudings and such, maybe describe each character better … Ivy was written very well, but others were a bit more ‘scantily described’. You could get away with fixing minor grammar mistakes, adding more detail, and check over it deeply for anything else … Of course, another good idea is to remove the space between each paragraphs after you’re done editing. It seems to be more professional.
It was great … And the ending could easily lead to the sequel. Ever put a thought into that? It could be a series. -
(re: An Evening at the Nightclub SIERRA) I’m glad you liked it! Yeah, the changes I was thinking of making were more or less along the lines you suggested.. I’m glad it came out well – English is not my fgirst language, it’s always a bit of a gamble trying to write for people who speak it every day… 😉
Sciefyr
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